


straight legged, mid-range denim

by aoiferose



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eavesdropping, First Kiss, Flirting, Getting Together, M/M, Sexual Tension, and yet he would still probably try and fit his hands in his pockets bc he's a menace, imagine patrick in somehow even tighter jeans than what he wears in the show
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26886022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aoiferose/pseuds/aoiferose
Summary: “He’s a business major who wears straight legged, mid-range denim. He’s not into me.”Patrick accidentally overhears David’s comment about his jeans and what they mean re: his interest in David. He can’t do anything about being a business major, but he can do something about his jeans.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 16
Kudos: 117





	straight legged, mid-range denim

Patrick stood outside David’s motel room, trying to work up to courage to lift his hand those last few inches to knock on the door.

He felt uncharacteristically nervous, especially considering the amount of prep-work he had done just to have this conversation. After he had left Rose Apothecary the previous afternoon, Patrick’s mind had been racing in a million different directions: formulating start-up costs, brainstorming potential grant opportunities, drafting an investment offer, daydreaming of dark eyebrows and expressive hands and a bitten-back smile.

Alright, so Patrick can admit to himself that his excitement over a new business opportunity wasn’t the _only_ reason he’d barely slept at all last night. After the flurry of their first meeting, Patrick had been shocked at the unmistakable zing of attraction in his gut that David had left in his wake. Throughout the subsequent rambling voicemails and second meeting, that zing had coalesced into a sort of tingly, electric feeling that spread through Patrick’s whole body. Patrick realized that David made him feel nervous and excited and unnerved and _alive_ , all at the once. He also realized he had never felt this way about Rachel, not in all the years they had been together.

Patrick tried to rationalize to himself that what he was feeling was purely platonic. After all, surely no one, no matter their orientation, could help but find David fascinating and hilarious and magnetic… Right?

Despite his attempts to shove these new feelings back in whatever box they had sprung from, Patrick found himself clicking through picture frame after picture frame online, agonizing over what frame sent the message _“I really admire your business idea”_ and _“I understand you and your vision”_ and _“Notice me, please notice me!”_ all in one. He had eventually given up and purchased what the website had told him was the most popular frame and hoped David would still Notice him anyway.

While his choice of frame had ultimately been unsuccessful, the afternoon Patrick spent helping out David and Alexis in the Apothecary had led him to a number of conclusions. First, despite his obvious nerves about the new venture, David was putting his all into building up the store. Upon seeing the products David had managed to accumulate in such a short period of time, Patrick was incredibly impressed by David’s work ethic and the clear potential for the store to be a real success. However, it was also clear David needed help with the business side of things if he wanted the store to achieve its full potential. Patrick concluded he would be the one to help with that.

Finally, and most importantly, Patrick concluded he was definitely, definitely gay.

He had a feeling that he was headed towards that conclusion as Alexis, tall and statuesque and irrefutably beautiful, flirted with him shamelessly and Patrick felt absolutely nothing. And then David had walked in to the room, and their eyes met, and that tingly, warm, electric feeling exploded through Patrick’s body like wildfire, and well. That felt pretty conclusive.

So here Patrick was, less than 24-hours later, ready to approach David with an investment offer for them to go into business together and also maybe probably come clean that his feelings for David are not entirely professional. He had originally planned to talk to David at the Apothecary, but after finding the store empty Patrick had marched straight to the motel, knowing he needed to have this conversation now or else he would lose his nerve.

Patrick felt ridiculous, standing in front of this motel room door with clammy hands and unsteady breaths. He was a take-charge guy, after all, and he had prepared extensively for this all night.

Still feeling uncharacteristically nervous, Patrick took a final deep breath, squared his shoulders, and raised his fist to knock on the door when he heard his name, muffled yet unmistakable, through the door. He froze.

 _Oh god, I can’t knock now, can I?_ Patrick, thought, panicking. Then David and Alexis would think Patrick was eavesdropping on their conversation like some kind of weirdo. _So, maybe I should just wait until they talk about something else, and then knock?_ Patrick tried to reason, paralyzed with indecision. _But then I’ll overhear their conversation which would be incredibly inappropriate and unethical and then David would never-_

“So, what’s going on there?”, he heard David say, freezing Patrick’s internal spiral. Patrick knew he shouldn’t keep listening but he felt frozen, unable to tear himself away.

“Oh, nothing.” Alexis huffed. “He hasn’t even asked for my phone number, which in my experience means he’s either newly married or he’s gay.” Patrick’s breath hitched. He couldn’t help but wonder how something he had literally found out about himself yesterday could already be so obvious to someone else?

“So,” Alexis continued, her tone turning suggestive, “like if you’re sensing a vibe or something, maybe that just means his eye is on somebody else.”

“He’s a business major that wears _straight-legged_ , _mid-range denim_. He’s not into me.” David replied dismissively. Patrick couldn’t help the hard pang of disappointment that jumped through his chest.

“Well it’s either that or he’s really into the store, which no offense seems a lot less likely to me.”

And then suddenly Patrick heard David’s voice move closer to the door and was jolted into action. Panicking about being caught eavesdropping on a conversation about himself like some kind of creep, Patrick dashed around the corner of the hotel, pressing his back up against the wall. He shut his eyes tightly, praying David didn’t have any reason to round the corner. Luckily, he heard David’s door shut, and the sound of his footsteps move in the opposite direction, presumably on his way back to Rose Apothecary.

When he heard the footsteps fade into the distance, Patrick let out a relieved breath and slowly sunk down the wall until he was sat on the ground. Until his _“straight legged, mid-range denim”_ was touched the ground. _Ugh._

It’s not like Patrick hadn’t considered that David just wouldn’t be into him. He had, extensively. It took only a glance to see that David, with his eccentric clothes and his model-esque good looks and his absolute certainty in who he was, existed in a different universe to Patrick. Plain Patrick, with his boring business major and his boring cycle of blue button-ups and _straight-legged, mid-range denim._ Patrick who didn’t even know he was gay until he was in his thirties. Of course David wasn’t into him.

Patrick couldn’t help but replay it in his head, groaning and letting his head fall back onto the wall with a dull thud. He felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment.

_“He’s a business major who wears straight-legged, mid-range denim. He’s not into me.”_

Patrick rolled the words back and forth in his head, wallowing in self-pity for a few minutes until he sudden realized something important in David's wording: _David never said he wasn’t into_ _me, David said that I wasn’t into_ him. Which, that couldn’t be right, could it? There’s no way anyone could _not_ be into David.

Except, Patrick supposed, for straight men. Which David probably assumed Patrick was. Which _Patrick_ had assumed he himself was until very, very recently. _Shit._

And even if David didn’t assume Patrick was straight based on his choice of denim, maybe David assumed that because Patrick was boring and safe and plain, Patrick would only be interested in people who were similarly bland and unchallenging. But Patrick couldn’t imagine a boyfriend who also had a business major and liked baseball and braided belts and didn’t say things like ‘it’s a general store, but also a very specific store’.

So, if he was reading David's words correctly, Patrick would need to prove to David that he was a) not straight and b) capable of liking someone as bold and uncompromising as David Rose.

_“He’s a business major who wears straight-legged, mid-range denim. He’s not into me.”_

_Well,_ Patrick thought, an idea coalescing in his mind. _I can’t do anything about the business major, but I_ can _do something about the denim._

With a sudden burst of resolve, Patrick stood up, squaring his shoulders and brushing off his jeans. He had some shopping to do.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first fic ever! This idea just jumped into my head today and it made me laugh out loud so I felt like it was my duty to write it. Will post the second chapter in the next few days, I just wanted to get this part out of my brain before I went to bed. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, kudos and comments much appreciated!


End file.
